River Styxx's Haunted - Student Spirits diary

Cover
It will be a grim day if you read my diary

Ghost Date... May 1
Welcome to the last voyage you will ever take. Now prepare yourself to say goodbye to everything you hold dear, because you will never see it again.

Ha ha ha ha ha - So silly. Dad says I'm not taking my junior reaper duties seriously enough, so I'm practising my ominous voice. I told him that I could be 30% more serious if he'd let me have a real scythe, but he said I would have to 'earn it'. So. Not. Fair. Pffffttt.. He's still upset, I think, about me using his scythe to cut out paper snowflakes to decorate the ship. Dad said he thought himself immune to fear until he saw what I'd done to his ship. Whatevs - I thought the ghost Yeti we were transporting really enjoyed that little touch! Anyway I told him I would do my beast to be grave when we ferry new ghosts. I guess I probably shouldn't tell him about the confetti cannon I ordered.

Ghost Date... May 10
We didn't have any passenger reservation today, so Dad gave me the day off, and I went to hang out with Vandala on her ship. She said she was going to sail to the phantom island Hy Brasil to do some shopping. When Dad dropped me off, Vandala's ship was already at full sail. I didn't see Vandala on deck so I asked one of the skeleton crew where she was, and he pointed to the captain's cabin. I stuck my head through the door and saw that Vandala was leaning against her captain's chair with a very strange look on her face. I told her that I loved the shade of green she was wearing, and she said, "It's not a fashion statement River, I'm seasick." Poor thing. I tried to cheer her up by singing a little pirate ditty I made up: Though the sea be rolling and waves be high, and the ship be rocking from side to side... I think it must have touched her, because before I could finish she put her hand over her mouth and was fighting back tears as she zipped from the cabin. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it and totes embarrass her, so I went back out on deck while she composed herself. I floated up to the quarterdeck and tried to convince the helmsmonster to let me steer the ship for a while, but he wouldn't even look at me. "Captain said after the last time you is not to touch the wheel, ma'am." Geez grim, you accidentally steer into a giant whirlpool one time, and every ghost is like, "Don't let her take the wheel." The next thing I did was pop in on the lookout in the crow's nest. After I floated back down to pick up and return his spyglass - pirates are so jumpy - he told me that Hy Brasil was coming into view, so I went down to find Vandala. Oh. My. Ghost! Something is ringing the call bell, better go up and see what it is. I'll be back to finish you off later.

Ghost Date... May 10 (continued)
So when Dad has to go out to collect a few things, one of my duties as an R.I.P. (Reaper In Preparation) is to take care of customers when he is away. So I floated up to see a very red faced phantom pushing the call button like it was a vending machine that took his money but didn't give him a candy bar. So he starts yelling.. rude.. when he sees me, and insists that I take him to the other side. I told him that we were closed and to come back tomorrow. Then he DEMANDED to see my superior, and I said, "You do know who my superior is, right?" I think he thought I was being rude, and he turned from red to purple. Then Dad came home. Dad's customer service skills are off the scythe, and it wasn't long - maybe a couple seconds - before the phantom turned a white shade of pale and agreed to come back tomorrow... Where was I? Oh, right, Hy Brasil. Vandala was feeling a little bit better, and by the time the ship was anchored in the harbour she was ready to hit the markets. The island only appears once every seven years, so it was crowded with phantoms, ghosts, specters and apparitions. I even thought I saw Kiyomi Haunterly there, but she disappeared before I could talk to her. There were lots of creepy cool shops, and I found my Dad a new blade cover for his scythe. It's made from the toenail clippings - ewww - of a black dragon, and it fits Dad's scythe blade perfectly. Vandala found a place to get her leg waxed - the wooden one - which she says cuts down on the wear and scare of salt water while keeping out the ghost termites. She also found a place to buy old treasure maps, which is strange, 'cause if you had a map to a treasure, why wouldn't you just go find it yourself? Anyway, the shop creeper told Vandala it was authentic, and she was all ready to buy it. Now, by this time I had put Dad's scythe cover on the end of my staff 'cause it was easier to carry that way, and my hood was pulled down over my face 'cause it had started to rain. That's when I decided it would be funny to pop up behind the shop creeper and practice my 'ominous voice'. so I did, and when I said, "This map is a fake - it will lead to no treasure," the shop creeper nearly jumped out of his ectoplasm. He looked at me and started apologizing to Vandala, who was getting a very piratey scowl on her face. "I, uh, well you see, Captain, I mean, of course I will return your money minus a small restocking fee." I was trying not to laugh and then I snorted, but an 'ominous voice' snort sounds kind of like a growl, and he gave Vandala all her money back. After we left, Vandala asked me how I knew the map was fake. I stopped, and using my 'ominous voice' again, told her "There are some secrets that only a reaper can know." Then Vandala got very serious and said, "So, lucky guess then?" "You know it." I answered, and we ended the day with ice scream before getting back on the ship. Later on, after we got under way, I think Vandala was wishing she's skipped the ice scream.

Ghost Date... May 17
Okay, it's not like a usually notice things like this, but something is going on at school, and it's not good. Principal Revenant has been handing out detention like it's candy. I wish it was candy. I love candy. Oh candy, why are you so sweet and delicious? Okay, so back to the not-so-scary sweet Principal Revenant. She is so strict that you don't have to break a rule to get into trouble; just breathing on one is enough to earn yourself a detention sundae with chain sprinkles... mmmmm sprinkles.. on top. I was telling Dad about the situation, and he did this thing he does when he knows something but can't tell me. It sounds like "hnmmpph", but the second 'm' and first 'p' are silent. - yeah, its hard to explain - but what it means is "All things shall be revealed in time." It also means that I don't have a ghost of a chance of getting any more information out of him, because he is bound by the 'Reaper's Oath of Neutrality':

By my scythe I do solemnly sweat to use neither word nor dee to affect an outcome as yet undecided.

Any reaper who breaks this oath must give up their scythe and spend the next thousand years as a solid pondering their poor choice. This happened to my Dad's cousin who's a high school guidance counsellor now. Scary. R.I.P.s don't have to take that oath until we got our real scythes, but we are 'encouraged to practice neutrality in every situation'. Hah! I challenge any reaper, R.I.P or otherwise, to remain neutral about Principal Revenant.

Ghost Date... May 20
Dad is going out of town to a reaper's convention in Las Plague-as and is leaving me in charge. WOOT! He also left me a list of Do's and Don'ts as long as my staff, of course. Here are some of my faves:

1. Do not lend the boat to your Uncle Charon. Dad says it takes a week to clean up the stray coins and that Uncle C always returned it with the fuel tank empty.

7. Do not turn this vessel into a party barge to the neglect of its primary mission. Hmmmm...

15. Do not repaint the boat. Awww... Porter and I had already picked out some screechy keen colours, too.

22. Do not use the boat to transport solids. Ha ha ha ha ha - as if!

36. Do not yell "We're going down! We're going down! Go to the unlifeboats!" or "Captain, we've hit an iceberg!" or "GHOST KRAKEN!" It is not funny and makes the passengers nervous. Is too funny.

37. Do not tell arriving passengers that their passedports are expired and they cannot board. This is also not funny. I can be, depends on the ghost."

50. Do look at this as a big step toward getting your scythe. I trust you and know that you will do a grave job. Thanks Dad! I promise to make you proud.