Lorna McNessie's Monster Exchange diary

5-30
So this is how ma day started: "Lorna McNessie, please report tae the Dead Master's office." Uh oh. It's usually nae good when you hear your name vibratin' ott of a classroom speaker. As I left the room I could hear ma classmates giggling behind me; this nae bein' the fiercst time I'd made the long walk tae the office. I was pretty sure this time it must be aboot me photobombing the faculty fearbook picture. I just couldna help ma self; there they all were in their robes and finery, looking all stern and teacher-like, and there was that window behind them. I was dawn tae it like a werewolf tae a full moon, and even then I only stuck ma face in for one snap.. or two.. so I didna think it would cause a fuss. I stood outside the Dead Master's door, drew a deep breath and got ma "Yes, I should have known better" apology ready. Then I knocked and stuck ma head in "You wanted tae see me sir?" He was on the phone and he waved me in and pointed tae a chair. I sat down while he kept talkin' tae the monster on the other end. "Ay, academically strong." He just listened for a moment and then laughed himself tae tears. "Nae nae, twas something ye said struck me funny. I can assure you that self-confidence will nae be an issue with this one, Headmistress Bloodgood. Thank you for yer time as well, and I'm sure we'll speak again soon. Goodbye." The Dead Master hung up the phone and leaned back in his chair. "That was Headless Headmistress Bloodgood from Monster High. She's accepted your application for the monster exchange program." I couldna beleive it, which seemed tae be an opinion shared by the Dead Master. I ask if that was the reason he called me tae his office. He said "Nae - twas merely a happy accident. But since you're here, I suppose I shouldna have tae tell you that you'll be representing our school, and I'll expect you tae be on your beast behavior." I told him that, of course I would, and that I would make the school proud. "Very good. Now lets have a little chat aboot the faculty fearbook photo, shall we?"

6-5
Ma parents are understandably cautious aboot me leaving the lock tae attend Monster High. I don't blame them though; it it in their nature tae be so. Sometimes they look at me like I'm an alien when I tell them aboot ma latest photobomb adventure, and then they just roll their eyes and say "Just like your Gran." I take that as a compliment, since ma Gran is the scaly coolest monster ever! I went tae see her today tae tell her the news that I'd be going to Monster High, and I think she was even more excited than me. She has a whole album of ma pictures, at least the ones I could get copies of, and she loves the stories behind them. SHe's feisty, funny, and is an amazing storyteller. She can even makes the ones I've heard a hundred times seem as new and exciting as the first time. Her stories aboot being a young ghoul in the loch are so funny, they make my fins hurt. But one of the best tales is aboot the time I took her aboot on a photobomb expedition. There is this bird that lives around the loch called the Three-Eyed Dusky Dragon Owl. They're as rare as slug hair, and you mostly hear them rather than see them, but every so often a pair will build a nest some place hear tae a road, and then monster bird watchers flock in... hehe.. by the busload. Now it just so happened that the nest was at the bottom of a very steep cliff and on a branch that hung aboot over the water, I suggested tae Gran that we swim under water and pop our heads aboot as soon as the first birdwatchers started snapping photos, but Gran said, "Where's the fun in that?" SHe didn't want tae be in one picture, she wanted tae photobomb them ALL! That's why there is now a framed magazine cover over her mantel from the monster world's most famous nature magazine. It features a nesting pair of Three-Eyed Dusky Dragon Owls, and two pieces of driftwood floating in the water behind them. If you look close enough you can almost see the driftwood giggling.

6-15
I've been getting tons of messages from different ghouls at Monster High saying they are looking forward tae meeting me. Then tonight I got tae video chat with Howleen and Twyla. Howleen was super bouncy, and Twyla seemed shy but funny. It seemed like they had a many questions for me as I had for them. I was especially curious tae know if Headless Headmistress Bloodgood has a sense of humour or nae. Howleeen got an odd look on her face then started tae something, but didn't. Twyla actually laughed oot loud. "That depends," Twyla said "on whether or not her office gets filled with packing peanuts on a day when she's giving foreign dignscaries a tour of the school." I started laughing and asked Howleen if she got in trouble for the prank. "I had to come in on Saturday, and she made me clean them up by hand one peanut at a time. It took all day." I said it sounded like she was no fun a'tall. "Wait," said Twyla, giggling. "You have to hear what happened next." Howleen leaned back, and with a smirk on her face said "When I got to school on Monday and opened my locker, I got buried in a flood of packing peanuts." At this point Twyla fell off the chair she was sitting on, and I could hear her cracking up on the floor. "It wasn't that funny, Twyla." huffed Howleen. "Yes. It. Was." "Okay Lorna, we;re going to to go now. Twyla has apparently lost her mind and we're going to need to try to find it." I think I'm going to like Monster High, and with friends like these it's nice to think I won't have tae be swimming down stream like a lost salmon when I get there.

6-30
Got another surprise call tonight from a ghoul named Marisol Coxi. She's a bogfoot from Monster Picchu, and she's going tae be at Monster High at the same time I am. She told me that Headless Headmistress Bloodgood gave her my number and said that we should get acquainted. Marisol is a bit larger than unlife, and I had tae turn down the volume when she was speaking tae me. At fiercst I was a bit taken aback, but her energy is so infectious, I couldna help but like her. We checked our schedules, and we'll be arriving around the same time, so it'll be nice tae have another new ghoul tae han gaboot with. I'm also hoping she'll give me some pointers on how she does her nails. They were fabulous.

07-1
Mum and Grab made a monster dinner tonight and invited the whole family for ma going away party. All ma brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews and aunts and uncles and cousins were there tae celebrate. The table was full of ma favourite food. There was Cullen skink, Eyemouth pales, kippers, tatties and herring, rollmops, smoked salmon, rumbledethumps, black puddings and the grandest haggis you've ever set your eyes on. The brought aboot coffin berry scones, and of course the best shortbread in Rotland. Then the pipes and drums came oot, and we played and danced intae the wee hours. We even took a family photo, and for once it was a picture I didna have tae sneak intae.

07-5
Had ma last swim aboot the loch this morning, and it was pure magic. i love ma home, and even though I'm excited aboot going on the exchange tae Monster High, there's nae danger that I'll even want tae live any place else. I also saw a boatload of normies casting aboot for a chance tae take a photo of the 'mysterious' creature that lives in the loch. All the grown folk were on one side of the boat with their cameras, and there was a bonnie wee lass on the opposite, just starin' downintae the loch. So I swam up, stuck ma head oot of the water and waved tae her. She smiled and waved back, and then I was gone. I imagine she'll still be tellin' that story when she's a gran herself.