Operetta's Frights, Camera, Action! - Hauntlywood diary

Cover
I'll tune you out if you read my diary

August the Tenth
Hey Fynn! I was hanging out with Holt today, and I was showing him the new guitar you made me; its so sweet, I spent the first day just lookin' at it. I also was telling him how you taught me to play blues and rockabilly and how there was more to music than just opera and pipe organs. I also mentioned that you have refused to enter the modern monster age and don't own an iCoffin or computer. I know, I know. You like the peace of the swamp without the distractions. Anyway, when Holt and I first met we went out on a date that didn't go all that well, and I think I might have accidentally... on purpose, forgotten to tell you. Holt and me are as tight as leeches on a swamp dragon now but, well, here's what I didn't send back then...

Old letter
...going just fine and dandy, and we were having a good time. Then this big ol' gargoyle who was standing in front of me stepped backward real quick, like to let some monster in front of him get by, and he accidentally knocked me down. Holt had gone to get a soda pop and he saw what happened, but he couldn't hear the gargoyle apologize to me as he helped me to my feet. I reckon Holt thought that the gargoyle hadn't apologized at all or something like that because before I had a chance to tell him it was all good, he came running by me and started yellin' at this gargoyle who seemed to be as tall as a hundred year old cypress tree and just as solid. Well, this gargoyle tried to be nice and explain himself, but Holt was having none of it. He got up in the gargoyle's face -well, as close as he could, like I said, he was really big- and started yelling at him to be more careful and such. It didn't take long for the gargoyle to get all bowed up his own self, and before you could say 'Lucille', the bouncers showed up and we were being escorted out. We were close to the stage and the crowd just kind of parted as they walked us through them to the door. It just about embarrassed the tar out of me. I told the bouncers that the gargoyle didn't do anything wrong, and I convinced them to let him stay. I wasn't too far from an old stairway down into the catacombs, so I told Holt that I could find my own way home. He sent a dozen dead roses to the house today, but its going to take a lot more than that to make up for last night. Now it's not like I've never seen boys go toe to toe, remember the night those two rougarou brothers went at it at that catfish fry, and I ain't no shriekin' violet, but coming apart like a tar paper roof in a high wind just don't sit well with me. Especially when he was so dead set on rightin' a 'wrong' that he wouldn't listen to the whole story.

October the Sixth
I have to say that you could have knocked me over with a strand of Spanish moss when those royal vampires showed up today and said Draculaura was their new queen. I mean she's about as sweet as your mama's iced tea, but I would have never thought she set to be queen. She just doesn't seem like the type to be givin' orders and asking to be waited on fang and toe. I mean, Cleo and Nefera, sure, but Draculaura ain't like either one of them. Although I reckon if she did have a kingdom, Clawd seems like he'd be a willin' subject, seeing how she practically worships the ground she walks on, and there ain't a thing wrong with that.

October the Fifteenth
Remember how I mentioned Clawd and Draculaura a while back? Well, since she's become queen they had to break up, and he's been the saddest hound you ever laid eyes on, the way he's just moped around lately. That was until some player from the ogre high school football team posted something on the MH team website mocking his pain. Now why they wanted to go and poke the wolf is a mystery to me, because not only did the player who posted it get suspended for the game, but I've never seen Clawd that fired up, and he took all his considerable misery out on them. By the time the 4th quarter rolled around, the game was so far out of hand that the coach took Clawd out of the game. Not so much for Clawd's sake but for the ogre's.

October the Twentieth
I'll be thinking about you this weekend, since I just found out today that a bunch of us ghouls are going to Hauntlywood to see the premiere of the new Veronica Von Vamp movie. Now I know she's your favourite, and I'm not tellin' you to make you jealous but to let you know I'll be takin' my camera so I can get some pictures and maybe some autographs. Oh, and one more thing. You ought to see this dress I'll be wearing for this black carpet shindig - It's to roll over and die for, I guarantee.