Elissabat's Frights, Camera, Action! - Hauntlywood diary

This 2nd Day of August
On the eve of my coronation, 400 years ago tonight, I slipped into the moonless Transylvanian darkness and disappeared forever. I remember it like it was yesterday; the Vampire's Heart casting its red glow over my room as Lord Stoker explained that I was much too young to be the queen without his help and that if i simply did exactly as he instructed, my unlife would be perfect for us all. I had not been acting all that long by then, but I knew enough to recognize a bad director when I heard one, and I was fangsolutely positive I did not want a starring role in this production. Fortunately for me, I had made friends with a young explorer and mad scientist named Hexiciah Steam. Hexiciah and Lord Stoker did not exactly see eye to eye on, well, anything, and so, partially to help me and partially to tweak Lord Stoker, Hexiciah helped me escape to a waiting ship that would take me to Londoom. I asked him about the Vampire's Heart, but he told me not to worry about it and that it was safe from the reach of Lord Stoker. Thus I became known as Elissabat the First, not because I was the first queen to have that name, but because I was the first to choose self-imposed exile over the throne. I often wonder what kind of queen I would make today, 400 years older and hopefully wiser. I'm certainly wise enough to keep two diaries now, especially since several pages of Veronica Von Vamp's private musings somehow ended up on a celebrity gossip site. Good thing Veronica never breaks character even when she's writing.

7 August
My agent sent over a script today for me to read. It's about a young ghoul who is chosen to be the queen of an ancient kingdom, not because she is the true heir but because the Lord Chancellor wants to control the kingdom through her. Except the ghoul finds out and takes off before she takes the throne, only to be chased all over the world by the Lord Chancellor's hench-monsters. Besides being completely implausible it involves multiple locations, chase scenes, stunts and a very large cast of characters. It sounds exhausting. I would love to do a small picture next. Something shot on location in Scaris at a small outdoor cafe where there are long pauses in between conversations and shots of me staring off into the distance as I ponder the deep secrets of unlife. I can just see my agent's face now. His left eye will start to twitch, and he won't be able to control it so he'll his shades on and then he'll break into a sneezing fit and have to excuse himself while he leaves mt trailer to try and regain his composure. He's actually a very good agent who really does have my beast interests at heart, but he is such an excitable little goblin that I can't help but tweak him just a little bit. I do sometimes tire of playing larger-than-unlife roles, even though my fans really do seem to love the films. I would just like to stretch myself as a performr, and I've done so many of these... oh well. I love to act, the fans love to watch, and we're all happy in the end - except the critics, but they're never happy, so I don't waste too much time thinking about them. V3

This 10th Day of August
Each day now I hear about the growing unrest in The Kingdom and how the vampire lords are mounting pressure upon Lord Stoker to find a queen. Personally, I think they are overreacting, since 400 years is just a drop in the coffin for a vampire, but they are a rather stodgy bunch. Order, tradition and discipline are the code they... we... live by. I have applied those virtues in the way I have chosen to pursue my career, and they are the secret to my success. I have been accused to having a photographic memory, but that is not accurate. I simply work as hard as I can to be prepared as I can so I do not make careless mistakes. My stage fright has never gone away, and I doubt it ever will. Therefore intense preparation is the only way I can stand in front of a crowd and do my job or jobs. I think my intensity intimidates other monsters, and I know I am perceived as not being 'approachable', but it takes a lot of concentration to be Elissabat playing Veronica Von Vamp playing a completely different character on stage or in a film. It is why I am also 'reclusive'. There are just times when I need to not be in 'character', and for that to happen I need to be by myself. I should be getting ready to be Veronica again, since a car is about to arrive not to pick up a queen of the vampires, but a queen of the silver scream. Some days I do wish that I only had one role to play, but which one do I choose?

16 September
I'm making the press circuit to promote my new film today, so I'm bringing Viperine along to do my makeup. Viperine has been doing my makeup for a while now, and I simply adore her. She is chatty but not intrusive, and I completely trust the job she does, which is good since there's really no way for me to check the work. She started doing my makeup quite by accident, when my regular artist got cast in some unscripted reality show... shudder... and left without any notice. Viperine was just an intern at the time and was cutting her fangs by doing makeup on creatured extras, but when I stepped out of my trailer and called her over, she didn't even hesitate. She's also that rare monster that is completely content not being in the spotlight. I asked her if she would like to be in front of the camera one day, and she told me that she felt like she was in front of the camera every time I stepped on stage. She has a fright future in this boosness, I think.

This 20th Day of September
By the pricking of my thumbs, something fishy this way comes. It is all over the news that a new vampire queen had been found and confirmed by Lord Stoker who said that he used the Vampire's Heart to verify that this ghoul is the true heir. Well this is certainly curious, since I know for a fact that the Vampire's Heart is as lost as Hexiciah Steam. Well, perhaps 'lost' is not the proper description. Maybe 'unavailable for questioning' would be more to the point. I know this because if Lord Stoker had the real Vampire's Heart he would have used it to track me down soon after I ran away, and I would have spent the last 400 years issuing rulings on propery disputes, meeting with Yeti ambassadors and doing Lord Stoker's bidding. I do wish this 'new queen', whomever she is, the best of luck, especially with old Lord Stoker lurking around. He knows everything there is to know about how the queendom runs, but he couldn't lead a one-zombie parade. I feel sorry for him because he could be a real asset to the Throne if he didn't want to sit on it himself.

1 October
I've been nominated for another award, which will make the fans happy and the critics not. I think this may be my best performance yet, but it is a rather popular film, and monsters have bee creeping to it in packs. Personally, I believe there is a direct correlation between how well critics like a film and how many monsters have actually seen it. The more obscure the film and fewer monsters have seen it, the more worthy critics seem to heap praise upon it. I suppose it makes them feel superior, especially when they dig up that old line about it being 'The most important film of the year'. 'Tis tiresome, mostly because they hold up a film that very few have seen as the gold standard by which all others must be judged and then sneer at any comparisons to it, which is convenient. I'm not saying that every film I have ever acting in has been perfect, in fact some of the acting choices I made as a young ghoul I wish I could go back and remake, but regardless of the role or film I always strive to give a performance worthy of the ticket price.

This 6th Day of October
So the new queen they have chosen is Draculaura! I had purposely been avoiding the news because I have been feeling guilty about the situation, so I did not know that she was the one. We used to play together when we were young ghouls back in Transylvania, and I still recall monsters mistaking us for sisters. This is not fair. I like my unlife and I do not want to give it up, but can I really allow another monster, especially one whom I consider a friend, to take over duties, obligations and responsibilities that were meant for me? I ran once. I am not sure that I can do that again.