Physical Deaducation by MH Coaching Faculty

Class Overview
Physical Deaducation is considered a core class at Monster High and as such all students must complete at least four units over the course of their academic career with us. Students who are members of a Monster High athletic team may be exempt although we strongly encourage them to take Phys. Dead as an elective. Ghoulia’s comment (red pen): As manager of the Fear Squad – yes we are considered part of athletic department – I am technically a member and would therefore be exempt but I like Phys Dead.

Lecture
Lecture will normally consist of a demonstration of the day’s class activity and a brief explanation of the rules followed by the activity. Ghoulia’s comment (red pen): Rarely do we engage in an activity that needs to be explained, monsters who want to swim go to the pool, soccer players go outside to the pitch, casketball players go to one end of the gym, and dodge ball players go to the infirmary… that is our name for the place where we play.

Tests/Supplies
Students will be graded on participation and attitude rather than ability.''' Students''' should dress in non-logoed, or Monster High logoed, t-shirts and shorts or sweats. Appropriate athletic footwear is also required for those students that wear shoes. Ghoulia’s comment (red pen): Poor skills coupled with a good attitude will earn you a better grade than the reverse. The line about “athletic footwear” is also known as the Clawdeen Wolf Rule. It was insisted not for Clawdeen, whose athletic ability is scarcely affected by participation in platform wedges, but for other monsters that lack her athletic prowess yet try and emulate her style.

Activities
Casketball Soccer Swimming Activities Ghoulia’s comment (red pen): I will give some brief, but hopefully helpful pointers on some of the other activities before launching into how to survive the mad, yet scary sweet science of dodge ball. Casketball – I enjoy watching the game and have ample opportunity to do so as I am the scorekeeper for the boy’s casketball team when they play at home. It is, however, a bit fast paced for me to play. If you happen to be in a class with either Clawd or Deuce you will want to get on their team if they are playing as any team they are member of rarely loses. Soccer – There always seems to be enough room for any monster that wishes to play. Although soccer is hideously popular I must confess to not being an enthusiast of the sport as it is seemingly fast in pace yet slow in scoring. I do however enjoy watching Clawdeen and her younger sister Howleen play. If they would be actually listen to each other they would make a great team but Howleen does not often heed the advice of the more experienced Clawdeen causing them to butt heads at times. Swimming Activities – if you are ever in the pool and Frankie Stein happens to walk in the direction of the water, it would be advisable for you to leave the pool as quickly as possible in order to avoid the shock that is about to come. The MH pool seems to exert a strange gravitational pull on Frankie and I have, on more than one occasion, watched her simply fall in even though she was neither jumping nor being pushed. It is certainly a curious phenomenon that deserves to be examined.

Welcome To The Infirmary
The infirmary is actually an old batminion court that we have claimed as our arena. We call it “The Infirmary” because we think it is just a scary perfect name for a dodge ball court. I wish there was a more elaborate story behind it but alas there is not. The Infirmary has the perfect dimensions for dodge ball and even a small observation area where the eliminated can watch and wait for the next contest to begin. It may seem that dodge ball would be a game that zombies would not want to participate in because we are not exactly… speedy. However, after observing the game for a couple of weeks I was able to develop a strategy that, while not always ghoul-proof, allows for even the most athletically challenged to participate and survive against the game’s strongest players.

Player Strategy
Manny Tour – Manny is the classic bully. His game is about intimidation and preying on the weak. He will always attempt to pick off the slower players first and he relishes the opportunity to take out players who are looking the other way. If Manny is taunted he will become so focused on the player who is taunting him that he will become reckless and can be easily eliminated. Clawd Wolf – Clawd’s combination of leadership skills and athletic ability make him very difficult to eliminate. He knows how to maximize the strength of his team and expose the weakness of his opponents. Clawd also has a scary strong arm and can hit an opposing player from anywhere on the court. Unlike Manny Clawd will always seek to eliminate the strongest player first, which can leave him vulnerable to an attack from a lesser player. Deuce Gorgon – It should come as no surprise that Deuce is as quick as a striking snake. You must use multiple players all throwing their balls at once in order to have a chance against him. Deuce does not play often because of his concern that an errant ball will knock off his shades and cause him to accidently stone another player. Heath Burns – Heath is totally unpredictable. I have watched him get eliminated in the first moment of the game only to see him single-handedly eliminate the opposing team in the next. Heat is very distractible though and if he can be caught watching something happening off court he can be taken out. Abbey Bominable – Abbey is monstrously strong and never seems to run short of breath. She throws the ball with such velocity that players will move out of the way rather than try and catch it. If Abbey has a weakness it is that she does not completely understand the game and will play hesitant at times. Once she fully learns the game she may be unstoppable.

Clawd’s comment (teal pen): Ghoulia left this survival guide in my car after Clawdeen and I took her home from school one day. She left herself off the list of strongest players so I added her. Ghoulia Yelps – Ghoulia may not move fast but she definitely moves with a purpose. Somehow she always managed to be in the right place at the right time and it’s like she knows what you‘re going to do before you do it. Oh, and don’t think she can’t throw the ball either because she can. She may not have the strongest arm but it’s definitely the most accurate. I found that out when I ignored her the first time I played against her and she ended up taking me out. I don’t ignore her any more cause she’s the first player I pick if I’m the one picking teams. Howl at you later, Clawd Wolf