Finnegan Wake's LS diary

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You'll crash and burn if you read my diary without permission.

April 14th
So I cruised into the Coffin Bean today to grab a triple coffinccino and some conversation with my fellow scaredevil, Robecca. She was going to tell me about her rocket boots and maybe figure out a way we could make something like that work for my chair. I knew she was going to be late, cause that's just how she rolls, so I got my coffee and wheeled back outside to the patio. I was just sitting there enjoying the sunshine when I got the feeling I was being watched. I turned my head and there was a werecat kitten at the next table, staring at me. I gave him a little wave, which was all the encouragement he needed to start asking questions. "Why are you in a wheelchair?" was the first thing he asked, and his mother, who had a mouthful of coffee at the time, half spewed/half choked on it. I laughed and told his momster it was a legit question that I get all the time, and I didn't mind answering it. At least, I don't mind answering questions for any monster who sincerely wants to know, especially kids. For monsters who ask questions they should already know the answers to, questions like: "Is what you have contagious?" When will you get better?" "Are you just trying to get sympathy?" I have a different set of answers to give. My favourite is to tell neanderskulls who ask what happened to me that I was attempting a hundred foot cliff dive into a two inch deep tidal pool and missed it by.. that much. Usually they get this wide eyed look and say, "No way!" Then they engage their brains and are like, "Wait.. what?" By that time, I've already wheeled away and left them trying to work it out. But for little monsters like this werecat kitten, I explain that I was just born this way. My tail never worked. They don't immediately feel sorry for me or say something awkward to try to make me feel better about not being 'normal', they just kind of shrug and accept it, or ask if they can give me a push.

April 20th
Why is it I could jump a pit of rabid wereweasels without breaking a sweat, but I get as nervous as a vampire in a tanning salon just saying the name Gigi Grant? I mean, aside from the fact that she's just liquid nitrogen cool, sweeter than a graphfright racing chair, and absolutely drop-dead gorgeous, of course. I cant believe I don't have any classes with her, which is probably good, because I'm not sure I would be able to concentrate with her in the room. Not that I've been doing a very good job of concentrating with her out of the room either. Maybe if I just 'accidentally' cut her off in the creepateria line and take the last slice of screechza, then I could offer to take her out of coffee or a movie as an apology. Yeah, that'd be smooth.. if I were in the fourth grade. Might as well just say she has cooties or call her Gigi Spigi.

May 1st
You know what's totally clawsome? When the outdoor pool at Monster High gets drained for repairs, and the workers leave the equipment ramp in the pool. Know what's even more clawsome than that? Hitting said ramp at the speed of YEEEEE HAWWW! and getting enough air when you come out the other side that Headless Headmistress Bloddgood has to take off her head and hold it as high as she can to catch the full measure of the boo-dacious verticality. You know what's totally not clawsome? When she says, "Nice air Mr Wake, and sticking that landing most impressive", and thinking it means, "Sweet! I'm going to be doing this for the rest of the day." Then finding out what she really meant was, "While I admire your adventurous nature and athletic ability, ignoring the 'No Entry - Construction Zone' signs has earned you two hours in detention where you shall write I WILL NOT DO STUNTS IN A CONSTRUCTIoN ZONE a thousand times". Dude...

May 8th
So I'm down at the beach doing some cardio training on the boardwalk when I hear, "Oh your left!" and Gigi runs by me. Now the first thing that went through my mind was, "Cool, I just got passed by Gigi!" The second was, "Hey, that's my line!" because I hate being passed by any monster - I don't care who he or she is. SO I yelled, "Last one to the Coffin Bean buys!" I thought this might distract her enough to let me make up some ground, but it turns out she's competitive too. It also turns out I was the one who got distracted when she looked back and gave a little wink and a grin. I don't know how much butterflies weight, but I'm pretty sure all the ones in my stomach added up to at least several extra pounds, which is why I'm asking for a rematch.. or maybe best 5 out of seven.

May 15th
Gigi and I have been fanging out a lot lately, and I don't know if that means we're 'offically' dating, but I know for sure that I don't want to roll with anyone else. We get along so well, I think, because we both know what it's like to be bound to something; her to a lantern, me to my chair. But just because you're bound doesn't mean you have to be a prisoner. She's just up for anything, too. In fact, she sent me a link today with the title, "Wanna go 200mph in a wheelchair?" Dude, it was a video of a mnster skydiving.. in his chair. We are so there.

May 20th
I cruised over to the mnster children's hospital to take something to my little seamanster bro, River. I love fanging out with all the little ghouls and mansers there, and I try not to play favourites, but I just really have a connection with him. River has some kind of syndrome - I can't begin to pronounce or spell it - but it caused him to have to relearn his gross motor skills. My friend Dr J, who's a specialist there, introduced me to River because she thought I might be able to encourage him to do his physical therapy. Dr J is one of the smartest zombies I've ever met, but as big as her brain is, it's not nearly as big as her heart. I think it may be a requirement for the job. Anyhow, here are three things to know about PT. 1: It's slow. 2: It's painful. 3: It's necessary. River had the first two points down pat, and when I first met him he was so unconvinced about the third that he wasn't making any progress. His parents and the doctors were at a loss, so I didn't really see how I was going to make a difference. But I've never been the kind of manster to back down from any challenge, so I dove right in, so to speak. I rolled past his room and stopped just outside the doorway. He ignored me at first, so I pulled out my iCoffin and started playing a game, After a while, I could feel him looking at me, and he finally asked, "What game is that?" I told him it was Dead Fast 3. "I beat Dead Fast 2 before I got sick." I kind of grunted at him and kept playing. "Are those real tattoos?" I told him they were. "Did they hurt?" I told him they did. "Mom and Dad said I can't get a tattoo, not even for my birthday." I said, "Getting inked is a big decision. Maybe they don't think you're responsible enough to make it yet." "That's what my parents said, but I'm almost 10 and I'm way responsible." I asked him why they thought he wasn't responsible. He didn't say anything for a bit, and finally mumbled, "Cause of physical therapy." I said, "Yeah well, good luck with that. Catch you later." I know it sounds harsh, but I figured that he's been bribed and threatened with everything under the sun, so I just rolled away. When I came back the next weel, Dr J wanted to know what I said to River. At first I thought I might have made the problem worse, but then she said that although she couldn't say River was excited about PT, he was actually doing it. That was six months ago. He's going home tomorrow, and even though he's got a ways to go, everyone is proud of how hard he's worked to get where he's at now. That's why I thought he deserved a 'tattoo'. Not a real one of course, but with Wydowna's artistic talents, Ghoulia's brain power and my.. yeah, I gave them the idea and they ran with it.. they came up with waterproof temporary tattoos that look just like mine. I checked it out with his folks first and they were totally cool with it. River may have been just a little bit disappointed they weren't real, but after we got them on, his smile was wide enough for a double room.